Jack Ascii

Match the following pieces of information with the correct baseball player below (come on, its fun. Otherwise, click this Jack Ascii recommended link):

A) This player set an NCAA college baseball record of 58 straight games with a hit (since surpassed).

B) This player hit two grand slams in one MLB game.

C) This player earned six gold gloves during his career, third most ever for the position.

D) This player got the crapped knocked out of him by a 46 year old Nolan Ryan after an ill advised charging of the mound.

Baseball Players: Andre Dawson, Mo Vaughn, Robin Ventura, John Olerud.

Click below for the correct pairings…

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Comments Off Posted by Jack Ascii / Sports

I am going to post for 30 straight days. Yep, guaranteed. I think I just heard someone somewhere say “bull#@$%”.  Anyway, here it goes. By the way, I don’t appreciate the lack of support here.

Subject A: The Ultimate Fighter Saturday night saw the latest season of “The Ultimate Fighter” get crowned. The winner was Amir Sadollah, who now, after the win, is undefeated (he’s 1-0). I watched all of his prelim fights this season and what stuck out in my mind about this guy is he never quits. He doesn’t appear to be a great striker, wrestler, of grappler and his cardio also seems to be suspect. What he is good at, though, is winning. I don’t think he’s going to be a world beater anytime soon, but I think he’s worth keeping an eye on. Also, the guy has the type of personality that should endear him to fans; very humble and somewhat insecure (not your typical mixed martial artist). Before his quarterfinal fight against Matt Brown, he said something like “of course I’m scared, I’m going to get in the ring with a trained killer”. For the record, he subbed Matt in the third round. Other not so flashy winners (past and present): Chauncey Phillips, Steve McNair, Bernard Hopkins, Lloyota Machida, and Bill Russell.

Topic 2: I picked up the Flobots “Fight with Tools” album this past week. Good good stuff. I pretty much left played the whole album 2 or 3 times this weekend while I finished painting my deck. I especially like “May Day”, “Handlebars”, and “Fight with Tools”. I was a big 311 fan back in the day, and these guys sound a great deal like 311 (and there’s nothing wrong with that). Give them a listen - as always they are on the shelves at your local iTunes store.I also picked up Iggy Pop’s remastered “Raw Power” album, and Joy Division’s “Closer”. Both are great great great albums that I need not comment on. If you don’t have these I suggest you put some pants on and go pick them up presently.

Item III:  Jen’s Pulver. I like Jens Pulver. He is one favorite mixed martial arts fighters. He is the everyman’s fighter - he’s not rich, and this is his chosen profession. A few weeks ago he suffered a tough loss to one of the best, if not the best, featherweight fighters in the world; Urijah “the California Kid” Faber. The fight was kinda like a passing of the torch, as Jen’s is arguably one of the best lightweight/featherweight fighters to ever lace them up. I hope the guy doesn’t retire any time soon. Even if he is relegated to a gatekeeper for Faber for the rest of his career, I don’t care. I just want to see him fight. Anyway, if you “Jens” find yourself somehow ending up on this page, I have a suggestion for you (granted, this is highly improbable and the chances of me winning the lottery are significantly greater). I think you need to change your intro music. Might I suggest “Gimme Danger” by Iggy Pop and the Stooges. 

D: Tiger Woods is done for the year. Many sportswriters are predicting that this will have a significant economic impact on the rest of the season (I concur). Here’s an interesting fact that I believe John Feinstein recently mentioned on some sports show I was listening to on Saturday. Prior to Tiger joining the tour, there were 17 millionaires. Now there are over 100. That’s pretty impressive. I think I also read that Tigers caddy makes more in prize money that most of the other tour players. This got me thinking, what other athletes would have the biggest impact on the economics  of their sport if they missed a season?

Basketball: Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade. I think it would take having all three miss the season to have a significant impact. We already have seen a season without Dwayne, and although I have no clue what impact it had on the NBA’s  bottom line, I gotta think the league still did well.

Football: Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, LT, Eli Manning, Randy Moss, Terrell Owens. As with basketball, I think it would take having all these guys miss the season to impact the NFL economic season. I think NFL fans are accustomed to seeing star players go down from time to time to have too significant of an impact on the NFL’s  economic outcome.

Baseball: The Yankees and Red Sox. I can’t really speak to baseball because I ussually don’t tune in until October anyway. If I didn’t have the Yankees to root against every year, I probably wouldn’t even watch in October either. 

One question I would really like to have answered is how much does sports (specifically professional basketball, football, ad baseball) contribute to the U.S.’s economy? If it’s significant, I wonder if anyone in any government agency thinks about this kind of stuff? 

1 Comment » Posted by Jack Ascii / Mixed Martial Arts and Music and Sports

Apparently I can turn one dollar into a KFC Snacker. It is also noteworthy that one KFC Snacker can turn into diarhea.

Check out my twitter.

What happened to the Hawks tonight? We are going to lose, but the future is looking pretty good in Atlanta (finally). Hey, Salim Stoudamire is in the game. I honestly thought someone glued his game shorts to the bench back in October. I predicted he would be a pretty good pro. I suck at predicting how good a player is going to be coming out of college as much as he sucks at basketball. At least he’s not Harold Miner, or Josh Howard… News flash, Big Baby just threw Zach to the floor. Game, Set, Match.

Dyron Nix has a wikipedia page. So does Doug Roth. This is a sign of the apocalypse. No wait, no Chris Brand wikipedia though. Forget what I said about the apocalypse. I was over reacting.

Anyone heard of BTI? Me neither. Apparently they do DNA testing on college football players entering the draft and compare the results to the all time greats (like Montana, Farve, Marino, Elway, and Jay Schroeder). Well, guess who is predicted to be the next great NFL quarterback..Nope, guess again, nope, guess again, nope, guess again, nope, guess again, guess again, guess again, he doesn’t play quarterback, guess again, nope, he’s not a football player, nope, guess again, and again, guess again…. Ok, I’ll just tell you….It’s Eric Ainge. From the BTI blog:

“Who is this potential big-time QB? It’s none other than Tennessee’s Erik Ainge. If he is drafted by a good NFL organization that knows how to develop QB’s and it doesn’t put him in a straight-jacket, don’t consider it a surprise if he becomes their ‘franchise’ QB.”

See the April 9th entry for more info

No Comments » Posted by Jack Ascii / Sports

My sister recently got a new car and I thought it would be pretty cool to compare some of the vehicles we have owned in the past. I wanted to spark a sibling rivalry of sorts. Anyway, for this battle, we are going to compare her current car, a 2004 Mercedes SL600, to the car I used to deliver pizza’s in, a 1987 Chevy Sprint. Let the battle begin. 

Performance

• SL600: 0-60 - 4.5 seconds, Engine - 500 hp V12, Transmission as tested - Automatic

• Sprint: 0-60 - Yes, Engine - 90 hp 3 cylinder, Transmission as tested - 5 Speed Manual

Advantage: SL600

Look and Feel

• The SL600 feels kind of like a roomy version of a Corvette when you sit in it. The sound system is nice, and the wood grain interior is plush. Oh yeah, the convertible top is suede on the inside. You could actually go to sleep driving this machine.

• The Chevy Sprint had bucket seats. It floated a little. I drove into a big puddle (flood zone) delivering pizzas one night. The car floated for a good 15 to 20 seconds and then settled down slowly into the 3 feet of water. I remember sitting in the car and seeing a beef jerky wrapper float out my window.

Advantage: 87 Sprint

Resale Value

• The 2004 Mercedes SL600 is currently valued in Kelly’s Blue book at $80,165

• The 1987 Chevy Sprint is currently valued in Kelly’s Blue book at $245. This is fifty dollars more than a push lawn mower that my mom is currently trying to sell.

Advantage: 87 Sprint ($240 is only like $300 less than what it sold for new)

Winner: 1987 Chevy Sprint

Honestly, this was a classic car. It got something like 50 miles to the gallon, it made my pizza customers feel sorry for me which resulted in inflated tips, and it impressed the ladies. Okay, it didn’t get quite 50 miles to the gallon, it was more like 40. It could also out maneuver a U-Haul truck - this is a story for another day.

1 Comment » Posted by Jack Ascii / Sports

Well, the Vols got their first ever number one ranking in mens hoops on Monday, and it looks like they’re going to hold onto it for a little under 30 hours. Am I upset, no friggin way. You see, I have endured Wade Houston, Kevin O’neal, Jerry Green, and Buzz “Dribble Drive” Peterson as a Tennessee mens basketball fan. Seeing the Volunteers put away Memphis on Saturday night…..<insert dramatic pause here>…….was the single greatest moment for me as a UT hoops fan (sorry Doug Roth, you flipping the bird to some LSU fans after sinking a three has now slipped to second). Tough loss tonight, but we will recover. Congrats to Vandy, Foster’s a player. Go Vols!

No Comments » Posted by Jack Ascii / Sports and Tennessee Hoops

I am sitting in bed watching some college basketball. There is 16:07 left in the 2nd half of the Kentucky/Vandy game, and Vandy is holding onto a slim 41 point lead (55-14). Life is good. 

No Comments » Posted by zinka / Sports

Tiki Barber is still a jackass, but I think I’m just going to harp on him this week. First and foremost, congratulations to the New York Giants. No chance, no way, no how; that would have been my reply to anyone trying to convince me they had a shot six weeks ago. Anyway, I’m not going to rehash the game, talk about the catch, or even discuss the pro’s and con’s of sleeveless hoodies. Instead, I just a a few brief comments: 

Who knew Tom Petty was dead? I didn’t, but that corpse can still bang out “Running Down a Dream” just like when he was still breathing 

Tiki Barber is a jackass (had to get it in here again, sorry). Karma came and kicked him in the keester. 

Eli Manning is not cool. He’s dorky, goofy, dumb looking, throw’s ducks, is awkward in interviews, cannot wear a hat properly, and kind of reminds me of the fat kid in Stand By Me (not sure why, he ain’t fat). And, he’s a winner. Sports needs guys like Eli. I appreciate his team first attitude. He genuinely doesn’t seem to care about touchdowns or completions, just wins. And he’s a good guy. Please trade him to Oakland. We’ll give you Al Davis and a case of beer. 

Michael Strahan got a ring! I want to say something here about the prenup he signed with his ex wife, but I’m not gonna :) 

Jeremy Shockey, happy trails. Looks like you and your team chemistry killing cancer of a personality are expendable. 

All the sports guys were talking about how surprised they were that Plaxico Burress not only played with the dinged up knee, but was a major factor (scoring the go ahead touchdown). For me ,however, I was more curious as to whether Tom Coughlin’s cheeks would have had time to recover from the beating they took in the Packers game. 

I am 2/3 of the way to my sports reverse grand slam (With the Yankee’s and the Patriots already coming up short, I am just a Laker’s collapse from the perfect year). I’ve given up on my true grand slam of the Braves, Atlanta Hawks, and Raiders winning it all. 

Superbowl ring for Ben Rothlesberger - Check, Superbowl ring for Eli Manning - Check, Superbowl ring for Phillip Rivers - …. The next two years are looking pretty good. The class of 2004 was pretty good. 

No Comments » Posted by zinka / Sports

Hey Tiki, Eli Manning and the Giants are in the Superbowl. How bout them apples? Here’s a sample of what Tiki had to say (from the cheap seats) earlier this year:

“Speaking during the halftime show of the Sunday Night Football game between the Giants and Baltimore Ravens, Barber had said that Manning’s attempt to lead an offensive meeting in the 12th week of the last season was “comical” at times.”

This just in, Manning has been brilliant in the post season and has lead his team to three straight victories in consecutive weeks as a Wild Card team (Didn’t the Raiders do that one year). How long before you return to your jackass ways and start turning on Roper and Lauer?

Misc Debris

• During the 2002 season, Tiki fumbled 8 times, with the opposing team getting 6 of them.
• During the 2003 season, Tiki fumbled 9 times, with the opposing team getting 6 of them.
• Tiki Barber is the second best football player in his family.
• Tiki is a name given to large carvings of humanoid form.
• Tiki sucks at being a teammate.
• Tiki sucks.

No Comments » Posted by zinka / Sports