Above is a graph representing the age distribution of my home town, Oak Ridge, Tennessee. Below is an announcement from the local newspaper, the Oak Ridger.
Go Wildcats 
To the left you will see an image of Chris Childs neck punching Kobe Bryant. This is a masterpiece. Chris was an average professional basketball player (6.9 ppg, 4.9 apg), but when it came to neck punching, he was world class. Per the image, it appears as if Chris is attempting to push the lower larynx up into the oropharynx or nasopharynx, while delivering substantial pressure to the cricothyroid membrane. The only thing that could have made this a better neck punch picture is if someone on the Knick bench would have stood up and punched Jack Nicholson in the prevertebral splenius (neck).
This JackAscii post was brought to you by the inventors of the bolo tie. There is no better neck accessory to ensure you don’t get the job.
Distractacon – This is any item that your three year old is some how mesmerized by that prevents you from leaving a store in a reasonable amount of time. It is normally found to take the shape of a toy, but can also appear in the form of something fragile and expensive.
Mobile Food Distribution Engineer – This is the person responsible for handing out chicken mini’s to you and your son on Wednesday, December 30th while you drive to a couple of different neighborhoods to look for a new house that has a three car garage but does not include a neighbor on a street parallel to your neighborhood who likes to throw loud parties in the middle of the week that usually last until 2 or 3 in the morning.
The Frog Brothers – This is what I call my friends Kwaz and Koncak (who aren’t related). It is in reference to the brothers who agree to assist Corey Haim kill some vampires in the cult classic “The Lost Boys“.
Looks like Baskin Robbins finally discontinued serving the popular “Baseball Nut” ice cream. As far as bad names go, I gotta think that was the worst. First, I never in a million years would guess that “Baseball Nut” was a flavor of ice cream. It sounds more like an injury that put guys like Bruce Benedict or Bobby Grich on the DL in the 1980’s. Second, I can’t imagine anyone walking into Baskin Robbins, not knowing which flavor to go with yet, and choosing a cone of “Baseball Nut”. For the complete list of Baskin Robbin Ice Cream flavors, hit this link.
Several weeks ago, me and a couple of buddies (“doodle” and “straight outta compton”) decided to hit trail 13 up on the Coal Creek OHV park (here is some information on my ATV if you’re at all interested or simply wanting to humor me.). Per the official Coal Creek OHV area map, the trail is rated as moderate and roughly 2.4 miles in length. However, as trail 13 is not accessible directly from the parks parking lot, you have to take a combination of other trails to get there. We ended up taking trail 1 (moderate, 1.4 miles) trail 2 (moderate, 3 miles) and part of trail G1 (easy, 8.6 miles) to arrive at trail 13’s head. As we started down trail 13 we immediately came to two deer crossing the path. The pictures aren’t great, but if you have soft spot in your heart for Bambi, check them out here and here. The rest of the trail was filled with mud holes, lots of mud holes. Some shallow, and some deep enough to make me regret not wearing a pair waterproof boots (I don’t have any anyway…). This trail isn’t technically difficult and there weren’t any dicey parts as I remember, but you will want to make sure you either have a functioning winch or a buddy with some tow cables (I remember at least one occasion where doodle had to pull straight outta compton outta the mud with a tow cable.). I’m not sure what else to add here, but I’ll leave you with some of the more interesting photo’s.
Here is straight outta compton posing inside one of the cooler caves on the trail.
Here is the only picture I feel comfortable posting of doodle (he’s the dude in the white, I’m the dude in the green) – I’ll have to get his permission to post the better photo which was taken about 5 seconds later
Lastly, here is a neat looking water hole up in them mountains off of trail 13 – probably my favorite picture of the day.
Trip Summary
Total Trip Miles: 23.2
Total Trip Time: ~ 4 hours
Total Hours on ATV since Purchase: 10.8
Total Miles on ATV since Purchase: 83
