Jack Ascii

• Amarillo Slim - If you can’t spot the sucker within the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
• Albert Einstein - Imagination is more important than knowledge.
• Jeremy “Humpdog” Humphrey (dude who lived next door to me when I was a kid) - Don’t let your meat loaf.
• Winston Churchill - I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
• Charles Barkley - If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she’s ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can’t play a lick. Same thing.
• Randall Graves - There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
• Mike Tyson - I just want them to keep bringing guys on and I’m going to strip them of their health. I bring pain, a lot of pain.
• John Kruk - I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.
• John McEnroe - Everybody loves success, but they hate successful people.
• Rampage Jackson - My momma said never trust a catfish with a mustache.

Posted by Jack Ascii / Funyuns