Jack Ascii

Today after lunch I decided to buy my coworkers (all 30 of them) some ice cream. So, I went to Kroger’s and headed straight for the frozen desserts section. I had my mind set on buying some Mayfield ice cream sandwiches. Unfortunately for my coworkers, the Mayfield products were positioned rather close to the generic Kroger brand versions. I ended up buying the Kroger brand sandwiches. I think Kroger needs to be honest with themselves. Looking at their ice cream sandwiches box, it’s like they aren’t even trying. Seriously, it is my opinion that if they changed the current box cover to one that featured a Kroger employee scooping ice cream out of a Bryers dumpster, it would be a significant improvement. I probably need to wrap this story up so I’ll end with this; I treated my coworkers to sub par ice cream.

Nine inch nails released an album (Slip) on their website this week, and it’s totally free. It ain’t no Broken or The Downward Spiral, but it’s free. Now, if I could only get my boy’s Right Said Fred to follow suite…

Jack Ascii’s Nascar Terms Quiz:

• What is Dirty Air? Is it a) the air used and discarded by the lead car or b) a by product of Bobby Hamilton after a six pack of Krystal chili cheese pups.
• What is Drag? Is it a) the vacuum that is created between two cars running nose to tail which results in the lead car pulling the trailing car along with it or b) insert Jeff Gordon joke here.
• What is Weight Jacking? To be safe, I probably just need to tell you what this is. It’s the practice of shifting the car’s weight to favor certain wheels.

Posted by Jack Ascii / Funyuns and Mass Media Update