Jack Ascii

Apparently I can turn one dollar into a KFC Snacker. It is also noteworthy that one KFC Snacker can turn into diarhea.

Check out my twitter.

What happened to the Hawks tonight? We are going to lose, but the future is looking pretty good in Atlanta (finally). Hey, Salim Stoudamire is in the game. I honestly thought someone glued his game shorts to the bench back in October. I predicted he would be a pretty good pro. I suck at predicting how good a player is going to be coming out of college as much as he sucks at basketball. At least he’s not Harold Miner, or Josh Howard… News flash, Big Baby just threw Zach to the floor. Game, Set, Match.

Dyron Nix has a wikipedia page. So does Doug Roth. This is a sign of the apocalypse. No wait, no Chris Brand wikipedia though. Forget what I said about the apocalypse. I was over reacting.

Anyone heard of BTI? Me neither. Apparently they do DNA testing on college football players entering the draft and compare the results to the all time greats (like Montana, Farve, Marino, Elway, and Jay Schroeder). Well, guess who is predicted to be the next great NFL quarterback..Nope, guess again, nope, guess again, nope, guess again, nope, guess again, guess again, guess again, he doesn’t play quarterback, guess again, nope, he’s not a football player, nope, guess again, and again, guess again…. Ok, I’ll just tell you….It’s Eric Ainge. From the BTI blog:

“Who is this potential big-time QB? It’s none other than Tennessee’s Erik Ainge. If he is drafted by a good NFL organization that knows how to develop QB’s and it doesn’t put him in a straight-jacket, don’t consider it a surprise if he becomes their ‘franchise’ QB.”

See the April 9th entry for more info

No Comments » Posted by Jack Ascii / Sports

Let’s say you’re a jackass, or an asshat, or maybe just a run of the mill dipsh!t and you’re having trouble getting the word out, might I suggest posting a few rants on craigslist?

Want some direction, here you go…

Check out “The WORST day of my life“.  Alex, I’ll take “Misplaced Prescriptions for $100″. There are a number of things wrong with this posting, but I can’t wrap my brain around why the guy (or girl) put the word “WORST” in all caps. 

Taking first prize in the nonsense category, I’d like to submit “Re: re: re:“. There is probably a good explanation for this email, but I like to think that its just some dude who, out of the blue, needed to get something off his chest.

Finally, what’s with this one…   

No Comments » Posted by Jack Ascii / Funyuns

I discovered Aesop Rock late last year. I pretty much own his whole discography now. I’m not sure what it is about this guy. Part of it is I like the poetry in his lyrics, part of it is the beats, and yet another part of it is his story.

If you liked this, check out “Big Bang”, “Coffee”, “Skip Town” (my current person favorite), and “Battery”.

No Comments » Posted by Jack Ascii / Music

Here is a great live performance of “The Regulator” by Neil Fallon of Clutch. 

If you haven’t ever heard of Clutch, do yourself a favor and check them out. If you liked this one, fire off a search for “Basket of Eggs”, “Drink to the Dead”, or “Electric Worry” on the ole YouTube. My personal favorites are “A Shogun Named Marcus”, “I Have Discovered the Body of John Wilkes Booth”, “Yeti”, and “The House that Peterbuilt”.

No Comments » Posted by Jack Ascii / Music