Jack Ascii

Jack Ascii’s Recommended Tunes for the Week

• The Beastie Boys (So Watcha Want Single) - Buy this simply for the “So Watcha Want” Soul Assassin remix with B-Real from Cypress Hill. “I got the big brown boots when you want to get kicked like a rhyme, from the heart and the mind” (B Real). 
• Iron Butterfly (Bullet Hits the Bone Single) - There is no better air drum solo, outside of “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins, than “Bullet Hits the Bone”. Terrible name for a band though. Almost as bad of a name as GC (Not really, nothing is that bad).
• Karen O (Hello Tomorrow Single) - This is from that Adidas commercial last year. Great song. Speakin of Adidas, do they make shoes anymore? Speakin of shoes, Jack Ascii strongly recommends these for the summer of 2008. In case you forgot to click on GC above, here’s another opportunity. 

Jack Ascii’s Complaints of the Week

• Railroad Tycoon 2 rules. Railroad Tycoon 3 sucks. Why? Parallels has trouble with Railroad Tycoon 2, but Mac OS X 10.4 has no trouble with Railroad Tycoon 3. Why? 
• My 2 year old cannot say truck. I cringe whenever we are in a group of people and he spots a dump truck. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
• The Vols had 24 rebounds tonight while Louisville had 42. I hate Rick Pitino again (Not really, but he has Tennessee’s number). I would like to thank the seeding committee (certified jackasses) again for giving us the royal shaft. We weren’t going to win the tournament, but come on. Please please please, someone beat North Carolina. I liked Roy allot better when he couldn’t win the big game. It would also be nice for Carolina to have to play a road game in the tournament. 

Jack Ascii’s Poor Terminology Finds of the Week

• Prophylaxis (Chess) - A prophylactic move in chess stops the opponent from taking action in a certain area for fear of some type of reprisal. Prophylactic moves are aimed at not just improving one’s position, but preventing the opponent from improving his.
• Rolling the Cheese (Billiards) - Rolling the cheese means to either shoot another ball into the nine-ball, or carom into the nine-ball, in the hopes that it will find a pocket.
• Sticky Wicket (Cricket) - A field which is partly dry and partly wet, creating a treacherous and uncertain bounce which makes the batter’s life difficult…by extrapolation, any life situation which is full of hazardous uncertainty!
• Goalie Rod (Foosball) -  The defensive bar closest to the goal; the 3-man goalie rod of a Tornado, the 1-man goalie rod of some other tables.

Posted by Jack Ascii / Mass Media Update